Sunday, January 12, 2014

Spain, 5 hours left.

Good morning people! This post will be a rather diary confession instead. It's 10am in the morning right now, and my flight to Doha departs in 5 hours. I am super nervous and I really need to vent.

Seriously, I don't want to leave right now. It feels so good being home, sleeping in MY bed (not in some kind of wood board that Koreans seem to call "Mattress"), being with my family and friends, understanding people in the street... In a nutshell, being in my comfort zone! I didn't remember how does it feel, until now. I have to admit it's being more difficult now, I mean, leaving my home. It was easier the first time, I had my hopes and dreams in Korea, I was making one of my dreams come true, everyone had expectations on me, I had new people to meet and adventures to live... But now, now I know what is all about. I know the good and bad sides of Korea, I know there's people I cannot stand, I know getting adapted is not easy, living abroad is not easy, I cannot talk to my parents as often as I can. Sometimes I wish I hadn't come back to Spain for Christmas, this is being so difficult... Is not that I want to cry, I honestly don't feel like I need to cry. I just need to face my problems. I took a decision, and now I need to face this second phase. At least I know where I'm going, I speak the language (fairly lol!) and I know people there, right? It's tough yes, but that's nothing new. 

Bad thing about this is, I'm forgetting that next Wednesday I'm flying to Japan. Japan, you know right? That has been my dream since I was a kid, a seven year-old kid. All this unnecessary stress is eclipsing the fact that I'm MAKING ONE OF MY DREAMS COME TRUE IN LESS THAN 4 DAYS. Do you see how selfish and stupid I can be sometimes? But I can't help it, that really hurts me. I don't want to see my mom and my dad crying again, knowing that I won't see them for the past 8 months, and that once I'm back I have NO idea of what to do. Glad we have technology, but still... It's not easy, I'm an only child.



Well, if you have read until here, congratulations! I appreciate your time reading my random fears and thoughts. If you've just read the first lines of each paragraph, you're a smart reader (that's what I do sometimes when I feel something is too long lol!).

Now really. Thank you. This has helped a bit, even if it's just a tiny bit. Now it's time to face the truth, I'm flying back to Seoul in less than 4 hours, and I need to shower and get ready! As always, thanks for reading. I'll keep you all updated, and see you in Asia! I'm planning to bring my laptop with me to Japan, so expect blog posts about sightseeing in Japan next week ;)


Just like my mom says "You have to do it, whether you like it or not. So you better have a positive attitude about it".

Farewell,
CL

6 comments:

  1. Ahw, this breaks my heart a little. I will be an exchange student next year .. but yeah, it's so difficult with my boyfriend and stuff. I wish I could take everyone with me, and I think that's how you feel too now. I hope you will feel home in Korea again very soon. And hey, you're going to Japan, that's sounds great! Think about the positives and try to forget the negative ones. Big hug! <3

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  2. I know how you feel because I had the same thing when I was in western for 6months. There are nothing like home but I hope you overcome well like your wise mother tells. If you don't overcome, you will face the same oneday again! You already a big brave child. Don't worry! If you are getting old, they also feel the same like you feel. If we live in foreign country, we see good and bad sides but own country has both except just comfortable home! Hope you enjoy Japan and go on what you have dream and don't give up if it is wrong what you thought or expected. Most of the person who live in oversea miss naive country. That's very normal. Hope you explore Korea when you have chance to live Asia and keep studying hard. When you are very busy with studying, you will forget the problem you have or afraid. PS, There are no bedroom and relaxing toilet like home I also lived Domitory in my country but many of us miss home. haha

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  3. Oh, that's so exciting and sad the same time ! I know something about it too. I know this feeling when you want something so hard, it's your biggest dream, but on the other side somewhere is your family, friends, real life, what you need for every day too. I feel then like torn person who have to decide.. These cases are both important.
    We all are dreamers and we all want to makes our dreams come true, even hard situation which wait for us.
    It's your chance, maybe it's funny, but there is a billions people, who dream about life like yours:) so be brave, make your dreams true, but never forget about other important things :)
    Hope you'll take care about yourself girl, wish you safe flights and all the best:) catch these great time and don't worry! If someone loves you, he won't dissappear, he will be there with his heart with you and be happy because of your happines :)
    :>

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  4. Claudia, vamos! Comprendo cómo te sientes porque a mí también me ha pasado cuando he estado en el extranjero por tanto tiempo (¡y eso que jamás he estado más de dos meses fuera de casa!), pero estoy segura de que vivirás experiencias geniales en Korea y en tu viaje a Japón. Además, mira el lado bueno, según he leído en tu insta, en unos meses vuelves a ver a Peter!
    Pásalo muy bien en Korea y en Japón: el tiempo vuela... No lo desaproveches ;)

    Chelo

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  5. Oh, dear!.. It's not easy, I know... but everything's gonna be alright! We're with you! :*** And Russia with you too! ~
    Nadi.

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